Umm... I'm a little more excited to write about today.
It was a regular day until I noticed more focus while I was studying. At the beginning of my burn out I had noticed it but I didn't know what exactly I was going through. I was describing it as a crash in the system. So, I was pushing myself to get active by solving riddles, playing brain games on tablet and also by solving sudoku. When I used to discuss this with my counsellor, she used to tell that I sound contradicting because I never told her that I was able to solve sudoku because, I was trying really hard to prove myself that there is nothing wrong with me and school was everything to blame. After having few more conversations with her I figured out that the problem with me struggling to do school work was mostly because of the things I say to myself about the school. That makes sense too. Our brain processes whatever we hear and say. I had to change that.
Yesterday, when I sat to study, I experienced a considerable amount of friction. Which wasn't the case when I was reading non-curricular books. I read more than usual and I'm truly enjoying it. So I started saying good stuffs about school and my textbook. After all, it's also a book. I just need to revise it more compared to other books. Maybe because of that, I didn't feel frustrated studying today. In fact, I finished the target I set and had more energy left. I was so happy to notice this change. And therefore, I would love take a moment to express my gratitude to my counsellor, myself and all the forces which helped me achieve this. Thank you so much. I also noticed during the time the importance of taking breaks in between. So, I decided to track the time but haven't executed it yet.
Just like past two days, my day started with taking walk with my dad. If you had read my previous post named "Increasing Unease", you might know that yesterday didn't really end well because of my parents fight. I had the time to discuss that with my dad during the walk. He patiently explained to me everything he felt and why he is right when he say things. After analyzing both the sides, what I was able to conclude was both aren't wrong. They just have a lot of misunderstandings and they both are totally different personalities. It's really hard for any couple with such contrast in personalities to stay together for more than twenty five years. I'm truly surprised by that. He also expressed his love for his wife and I felt happy to hear that. And my day continued after I ate a big plate of Idli and fish curry. Yum, I could explain it's taste😋.
I was really missing some of my saved reels. I saved funny reels, reels about BTS and seventeen on my Instagram and I used to watch them whenever I felt bored or when I wanted to laugh. Today was a success in keeping my phone away. I do think about it sometimes when I want to quickly look something up, but when I realized that I had disables google, I just say to myself, you don't have to look everything up all the time. But if my mom needs something, I just use her google to look things up.
As you can see from my posts that I'm not really focusing on structuring my posts or for that matter anything about writing. Therefore, I think this is a good opportunity for me to learn some tips and techniques which can improve my storytelling abilities. So I opened my iPad, YouTube. Before, I even searched anything, I saw seventeen comeback video part 2. I couldn't resist myself so I clicked on it and watched. You know how I had set myself rules that I could only watch up to two episodes per week if I'm watching anything alone, I already exhausted it. But that was still fine until I say their thumbnail of ring ceremony video. OMG!!!! I didn't click on it though. I was kind of happy and satisfied seeing them in one video so I'm saving it for next week. I really really miss SCOUPS!!! saranghaeyo!!
I also watched one more videos about journal blogs, unimpressed I shut it down and started writing. And I guess that is it for today. Keep coming back to read my boring(Interesting) stories. I'm sure you can definitely steal something from this. Alright, imma read some pages before I hit the bed. Good night everyone.
-strangelet