Uh.... Very boring. I am bored AF. It is the day five of my digital declutter journey. I did expect it to get boring. I did a few things today but wasn't able to study properly. My mind was craving for some instant dopamine. Today, my day didn't start usual. It started with a surprise. Last night I had a strange dream. I wrote about it as soon as I got up. You know how we do not really dream about using our phones or computers? I dreamt about watching Instagram last night. I didn't see a phone. It was more like the screen was all I saw which covered my entire vision. I clicked on one reel with Sharukh Khan's face. To be honest I do not know why him? All I watch on Instagram is BTS, Seventeen, Food and some funny videos, rarely Bollywood. But anyways, I clicked on it and I saw a clip of the song gerua shot in a desert setting where his shirt and Kajol's saree make waves because of the wind. It was weird, I didn't see myself looking at the screen, instead I was there inside of the reel. I can see part of my face from right side looking at Sharukh sir.
As I was noting it on my small notebook. Weird things kind of started to make sense a little bit. I wasn't able to see the screen because my brain doesn't know about mobile yet. It can't really make sense of a tiny box making me feel certain way when I look at it. However, it certainly know that I feel a certain way when I do the action of clicking and watching. I think that was the reason my brain was only producing clicking and watching but not at distance but as if I'm in it. I guess it thinks we are in that environment when we watch a reel because we feel it, in other words, it thinks that we are really involved in it. Isn't that amazing and at the same time concerning? Like, after straight four days, me dreaming about reels can only mean one and only one thing. That is, my brain wants it. It is craving for it.
Happy that I discovered something, I went with our regular walk with my dad. I tried to be conscious of what I was thinking. I noticed that I was thinking about talking to Seventeen. OMG!! That's a dream. I imagined myself dancing with Hoshi and talking to all the members. I noticed how my brain was craving social interaction. Unable to do anything with it, I continued my day. My mom made one of my favorite breakfasts, unde, steamed balls made of rice plus coconut batter. After having it, my body started to ache. I suppose it's because of the walk and exercises. But I kind of lied down on bed. Later, I read some pages of Digital minimalism. Today's chapter was reclaiming leisure. It's wondering to say that the ace at which my days are going and the content I'm reading kind of matching. I felt so bored of today. The reason is that I haven't really filled the voids created by avoiding screens with some other activities yet. That is what this chapter is about. It gives three leisure lessons.
- Prioritize demanding activity over passive consumption.(Do some strenuous work like working in garden or something)
- Use skills to produce valuable things in the real world.(Build something physical)
- Seek activities that require real-world, structured social interactions.(Board games, social workouts etc)*
The the author gives some practical practices to put the lessons into actions. That includes, fixing or building something, at home or anywhere, scheduling low-quality leisure - like how I watch something only two episodes per week and lastly, join something. I have started learning Uke. Like today I took lesson two where I learnt three more chords to play a song called Rip Tide by Vance Joy. I was able to play it but slowly lol. The song is fast. I find G chord hard. I was noticing that as I was learning and playing it, I was truly happy. I was smiling. My heart felt content. My mom came in between and made fin of the song and the way they sing because, she is unfamiliar with English songs. I joined her laughter. But I do not think that is enough. I need to find more activities which makes me feel content and eventually end up filling the void I feel. I could join my mom with her kitchen garden activities, but it's rainy season and it feels really uncomfortable working in mud with one hand supporting the umbrella.
I do not want to schedule Instagram yet, I want it to give a month's break. I might post on X and dance more. But yeah, I need to join some communities. I haven't finished reading that part yet. However I think it will really comfort my loneliness as I'm not really interacting with anyone but my family. I might look for some reading clubs or workout clubs, but they will be online. Remotely, I live in a small village where there are no such clubs available. I'll try to figure something out. That is it for today. Besides that, all I did was to study a little bit, went to temple with my parents and ate some jackfruit.
Hope you are stealing something from these blogs. Thank you so much for reading.
-strangelet
* Newport, C. (2019). Digital minimalism: Choosing a focused life in a noisy world. Portfolio/Penguin.